My jeremiad life is full of pain and a constant struggle
And I am disconsolate with my yen to solve this puzzle
This situation leaves me with a brackish taste
Because I should be successful and not a waste
My mind is way worn because my stasis is off
So I continue to parse and decide what I should doff
Am I being punished for my actions of being refractory
How I long for this trial to pass and become a distant memory
I have experienced a fraction of what it is like to succeed
Please, no longer hold back my blessings, Lord, I plead
It feels like my life is a plateful of failure
Seasoned with very little pleasure
While not fully encountering my heart's desire
So if you’ve ever accomplished a dream it is you I admire
I am over qualified in all that I do
But blessings skip me and is given to you, you, and you
My emotions seems like God plays with
And the blessings He has for me feels increasingly more like a myth
Although I don’t understand my situation, I know I’ve been blessed more then others
However this storm is long and is tough to weather
I refuse to prolong this tough process by being discomfit
Lord I want to be biddable and show that I will never drift
So whatever it is You want me to do and or go through
Know I will do it willingly, just to show you, how much I truly love you

​Regardless of what happens in your life. You will be let down by a number of people time and time again. In fact the most pain will come from the people who you hold closest to your heart. The question is how do you respond and do you forgive after you have been wronged. Forgiveness technically is not a choice, it is expected. God expects us to forgive as many times as we have been wronged. He expects this because He does it as well. God forgives any action as long as the person’s heart is sincere and then He forgets. It is as if it never happened. We unfortunately are not able to forget BUT we still can forgive. Time on the other hand will allow us to heal from the pain. After you have been hurt, are you able to show the same love God would show you after you have let Him down? Think about the same actions you consistently commit over and over again and you pray for forgiveness. God continues to forgive you for that same act and He gives you an unlimited supply of grace. Although consequences may be in order, God will always love and look out for you. He will never forsake you, and He has a plan for your life. Psalms 51:5 discuss how natural sinning is for man and Romans 3:23 says for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There are days we have made some horrible mistakes and we know we let God down, but He will never turn His back on us. Regardless of how great we thought our best day was, we still let Him down on that day. We have never went a day where we have not let God down and God has never went a day without showing us grace and forgiveness.
In the song “Song of Intercession” by William Mcdowell the two following lines stand out. “The change I want to see must first begin in me. I surrender” and “If they’re looking for you, Jesus. Let them find you in me.” They are short yet powerful lines and shows us how Christ wants us to love. Living Christ like means you have to love like Christ and that means forgiving like Him as well. You have to show unconditional love even when it is not shown to you. Loving is easy when it is given back. Showing God's love can be hard because you are challenged to love and forgive those who do not love you.

You will be placed in situations where you will have to opportunity to show others what it is like to be loved by God. Sometimes those opportunities mean forgiving when you feel like it is unforgivable or showing love when you have been deeply hurt. It is easy to let your emotions get the best of you but if you are able to love when the world says you should not and if you are able to forgive when the world says you should not then it will be easier to accept and understand the love and grace God shows us when we have done wrong towards Him and others.

*This is the same article as "Don't Let the Illusions of 2017 Effect Your Progress In 2018" but there have been slight modifications made.  The personalization of this blog is an important part of My Story so I incorporated it into this section.  I changed the title to connect the with my journey. 

DON'T LET YOUR PAST FAILURES AND MISFORTUNES DEFINE YOUR FUTURE

​As I watched the movie the Illusionist, I could not help but notice the similarities with the progress of my life and how being focused on the wrong things will have you feeling like you are sooooo right, but actually so wrong.  The movie illustrates the power of truth versus illusion.  It shows how powerful illusions can be and how difficult it can be to accept the truth.  Which made me ask myself what illusions are affecting my growth and progress in my life?  Not the obvious things, but illusions.  What are the things that would be hard for me to accept that is holding me back from being closer to God, my family, building and maintaining relationships, being financially stable, and being more established in my career while walking within my purpose? ​

Since I decided to focus on this website and take the action to get closer to the Lord, my life has gotten better BUT I have had to deal with numerous trials. It seemed like whenever my nose got just above water, I had another situation push me right back down. I will not name every trial but here are a couple examples. My place flooded, car issues, finances, hospital visits on two different occasions within a week (with almost a third visit), and missed opportunities. I know this sounds like life and it may not even compare to your trials but we are all dealing with life in our own way. Everyone has their own struggle and their own journey that they must endure and overcome. The Lord kept me strong and I did not complain throughout and I accepted every challenge with a smile, flipped the situations and over came them BUT I still messed up.

Although I was faithful and followed what I thought the Lord wanted me to do, I STOPPED focusing on the goals I had set for myself. So although, I was diligent in what God wanted me to do, I was not consistent in what God needed me to do in order to step into what He has for me. Where I should have been 10 steps closer, I was 20 steps behind (could this be an illusion).

How you ask? Although, I progressed it was not at the rate that I should have grown (a possible illusion). I read the Bible, but I have not finished reading the entire Bible. I built a stronger relationship with God, but it should be much stronger. I have a number of notes to share, but I should have much more and I have not consistently published (last blog was in May). My individual goals were not nurtured as consistent as they should have been. They were not priorities although they were a focus. My priority was to handle my trials instead of balancing the trials with my goals. This is where I need to be better. I need to be able to balance both and progress while I am in the storm in all areas of my life.

This is where we need to be better. When we are focused on making changes for the better, we will be challenged not with the will of completing goals but by balancing them with the trials and obstacles that are unforeseen. Successful people have the ability to not only handle the unforeseen, but also BALANCE the the unforeseen with the goals they have set out to achieve.

Satan uses “life” to distract us. Life can be an illusion. There are things you wouldn’t necessarily attribute to being an obstacle but those are the things that get through when the obvious is noticed. Satan’s goal is not necessarily to keep you from obtaining your blessing, but to postpone them. He relishes when he can keep people from receiving their blessing, but he understands that postponing them is just as good.

Think about the Israelites journey to the promise land. The Israelites were guaranteed to make it to the promise land BUT the trip took 40 years when it should have taken 11 days. Many missed their blessing while Caleb and Joshua had to wait despite being faithful when the majority was not. It was the circle they were associated with which caused them to wait to receive. What would have happened to Joshua and Caleb if they lost faith during the 40 years they had to wait for their blessing? How much different would Israel’s history be if the people who saw the Red Sea parted completed the journey to the promise land?

The focus of the negative is the illusion that can hold you back from your blessing. What could have been is a common illusion. It is an illusion that is hard to overcome depending on the situation because of your mindset, perspective and your focus. You can easily move on from a relationship, but a missed dream is something you are still dealing with. You are not able to get over a promotion you thought was yours, but you were able to move on from not pursuing a higher degree. It is a matter of perspective, which makes this illusion so tough to overcome. It is tough to overcome because this illusion is situational. Situational illusions can be the easiest to identify but the hardest to accept and change.

In Philippians 3:12-14 Paul writes a letter while in prison to encourage a church he helped create. In the letter he highlights that they have not arrived yet, to make sure their past does not define their future and to aggressively approach their future. He did all this while being in a storm. He was able to walk in his purpose and help others while in the midst of his own trial. Paul did not let his situation determine his actions. He would have written that letter regardless of what he was dealing with at the time.

Despite everything I have done, I have to use the 168 hours I am giving each week more efficiently and not allow myself to be distracted. I have to do better with balancing my goals with my career and handling what life brings while walking within my purpose. Being discouraged is no longer an issue for me; it is all about making sure I do not lengthen my journey to my promise. I need to understand that I maybe able to get to my blessing quicker through executing the correct plan, but also realizing regardless of what I do I still may have 40 years to wait.

Illusions seem complex but are actually very simple. The three illusions I have identified for myself are managing distractions, balance, and follow through. What are your illusions in your life? If your life were a magic trick, what would go unidentified or unnoticed if you did not know the trick? If you are not sure, think about your purpose and what is keeping you from it. Pray for enlightenment and once you receive the truth, accept, take action, adjust, and grow.

If you are like me I am sure you have had progress this year as well as mistakes and failures but have grown a lot this year. I have made some big strides towards my goals and walking within my purpose. I have identified a number of my mistakes and have developed a plan to ensure that I do not repeat my mistakes. Do not ignore the progress that you have made. Celebrate them. Do not let your failures overshadow your progress. If you feel like you have not progressed, you have identified an illusion.

Although this blog has a New Years resolution feel. It was written to help you assess your growth for not just 2018 but throughout life. Reread and assess your progress throughout the years. Remember as long as you consistently believe in God and work towards what He has for you a breakthrough will follow. It could be 11 days or 40 years or somewhere outside of that window, but it will come. Be patient while aggressively attacking your future while walking within your purpose. ​

In the comments feel free to share your illusions, struggles, progress and blessings to provide encouragement to others. Revisit and share with others of the blessings you gained during the year but never forget God has more in store for you.

VisualizeExecuteTransform



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As I take a deep breathe and exhale
I tell myself that I will not fail
Fore this season for me is rough
And with every passing moment I’m waiting for him to say “ENOUGH,

Well done my child, you have conquered this test
Enjoy this victory and in time you will be immensely blessed
But for now it is time for you to rest
You easily could have fell into temptation
But you succeeded because you established your faith on a strong foundation
You showed Me nothing but commitment and dedication
Especially when you came to Me with questions in meditation
And I’m proud you stayed true when there was no given explanation
You waited for Me to intervene and while you tarried, you used Me as that shoulder to lean
And now for a season your life will be serene
However do not take this season for granted
Continue to nourish that seed that you have planted
Remember you will be successful as long as you consistently seek Me first
So allow Me to satisfy your hunger and quench your thirst
Never forget you will endure times that you will feel like you are cursed
Despite all this, understand it could always be worse
And the only way to relieve the pain would be thru a Hurst
These are the times most, when you will feel that I have forsaken you
Although your emotions will contradict Me, remember I am always with you
You may not sense Me but I am in plain view
Covering you like the warm morning dew”

So until then I will continue to fight for my season of liberty
And when the day finally arrives I will rejoice for my victory
I then will take one deep breathe and exhale
And tell myself I fought the good fight and I did not fail